46 Relationship Check-In Questions
A check-in is a short, regular conversation about how the two of you are doing. It is not a performance review and it is not a fight in disguise. Done well, it catches small frustrations before they harden and gives you a dependable moment to say thank you.
Press Next to draw the first question.
The questions below are grouped from easy to more searching. Start with appreciation, move to what felt off, and finish with what each of you needs next. Some questions are for after a disagreement, when you both want to repair but are not sure where to begin.
All 46 relationship check-in questions
8 light · 18 medium · 20 deep
- What was the best moment we shared this week? Light
- What is one thing I did lately that made your day easier? Light
- On a scale of one to ten, how rested do you feel right now? Light
- What are you looking forward to in the coming week? Light
- Is there a small thing we keep forgetting that we should put on the calendar? Light
- What did you enjoy that you would like to do again soon? Light
- Which of my recent jokes or texts made you smile? Light
- What would make this weekend feel like a real break for you? Light
- How connected to me have you felt this week, and what affected that? Medium
- Was there a moment this week when you needed something from me and did not ask? Medium
- What has been taking up most of your mental energy lately? Medium
- Is the way we are splitting chores still working for you? Medium
- How are you feeling about our money right now? Medium
- Did anything I said this week land differently than I meant it? Medium
- How much quality time do you feel we have had, compared to what you want? Medium
- What is one thing I could do this week to show you love in a way you would notice? Medium
- Are we seeing friends and family as much, or as little, as you would like? Medium
- Is there a decision we have been putting off that we should look at together? Medium
- How has your stress level affected how you show up with me lately? Medium
- What is one thing you are proud of yourself for this month? Medium
- Is there anything you have been holding back because the timing felt wrong? Medium
- How do you feel about how physically affectionate we have been lately? Medium
- What is one way I can support your goals this month? Medium
- Do you feel like we have been listening to each other well? Medium
- What should we stop doing because it is not helping us? Medium
- What is one thing we did well as a team recently? Medium
- After our last disagreement, is there anything you still feel unresolved about? Deep
- What did you need from me during that argument that you did not get? Deep
- Is there something I apologized for that still does not feel repaired? Deep
- What would help you feel safe bringing up hard topics with me? Deep
- When you feel distant from me, what is usually going on underneath? Deep
- Is there a pattern in how we fight that you would like us to change? Deep
- What is one way I could make it easier for you to say no to me? Deep
- What would you like me to understand about your side of our last conflict? Deep
- How can I tell when you are hurting but not saying so? Deep
- What is something you are afraid to tell me because of how I might react? Deep
- Do you feel your needs are as important to me as my own? Deep
- What is one thing I can take responsibility for this month? Deep
- Is there an old hurt that has resurfaced lately? Deep
- What would a real fresh start look like after a hard week? Deep
- How are you, really, underneath the busy answer? Deep
- What part of our relationship needs the most care right now? Deep
- What do you want to forgive, and what do you want me to do differently first? Deep
- What does it look like when you feel fully supported by me? Deep
- If our relationship had a weather report this month, what would it say and why? Deep
- Is there a question you hoped I would ask in this check-in? Deep
How to use these
- Pick a regular time, such as Sunday evening, and keep it to twenty or thirty minutes.
- Open with one thing you appreciated this week before raising anything difficult.
- Use "I felt" rather than "you always" when naming something that hurt.
- End by agreeing on one small, concrete change to try before the next check-in.
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Questions people ask
How often should couples do a check-in?
Weekly works well for many couples because issues stay small. A longer monthly check-in can cover bigger themes like money, plans and intimacy.
What if a check-in turns into an argument?
Pause and agree to come back to it later. Using one of the repair questions once you have both cooled down usually helps more than pushing through.
Can these questions replace couples therapy?
No. They help with everyday upkeep, but they are not a substitute for professional support. If either of you feels afraid, controlled or unsafe, please reach out to a qualified counsellor or a domestic violence helpline.