47 Getting to Know You Questions for Couples
Even couples who have been together for years have corners of each other's lives they have never asked about. These questions are for learning the backstory: the hometown, the family, the friends, the turning points.
Press Next to draw the first question.
They begin with easy favorites and memories, then move toward the experiences and beliefs that made your partner who they are. Take your time with the answers. The follow-up question is often where the real story is.
All 47 getting to know you questions
16 light · 16 medium · 15 deep
- What is a food you loved as a kid that you would still happily eat today? Light
- Which song can you not help singing along to, even in public? Light
- What was your favorite hangout spot as a teenager? Light
- What is the strangest job you have ever had or wanted? Light
- If you could master any skill overnight, which would you pick? Light
- What is your go-to order at a coffee shop, and has it ever changed? Light
- Which fictional character do you secretly relate to the most? Light
- What is a small purchase that made your life noticeably better? Light
- What hobby did you drop that you sometimes miss? Light
- What does your perfect lazy Saturday look like from start to finish? Light
- Which smell instantly takes you back to a specific place? Light
- What is the best piece of advice a teacher or coach ever gave you? Light
- Are you a keep-every-tab-open person or a close-everything person? Light
- What street did you grow up on, and what was it like to walk down it? Light
- What did your weekends look like when you were about ten? Light
- What is something you are weirdly good at that most people do not know? Light
- Who in your family are you most like, and in what way? Medium
- What is a tradition from your childhood that you would want to keep alive? Medium
- What is a skill you picked up somewhere unexpected? Medium
- Which friendship has shaped you the most, and why? Medium
- What kind of day leaves you feeling completely drained? Medium
- What kind of day leaves you feeling most like yourself? Medium
- What is a compliment you received once that you still think about? Medium
- How did your family handle disagreements when you were growing up? Medium
- What is something you are proud of that you rarely get to talk about? Medium
- What do you need from people when you are stressed: space, help or distraction? Medium
- Which year of your life would you most like to relive for a day? Medium
- What is a belief you hold that most of your friends do not share? Medium
- Who was the first person who made you feel truly seen? Medium
- What is something you are trying to get better at right now? Medium
- What did your parents get really right in how they raised you? Medium
- How do you usually show someone that you care about them? Medium
- What experience changed the direction of your life the most? Deep
- What is something you wish people understood about you without you having to explain it? Deep
- When do you feel the most lonely, even around other people? Deep
- What part of your past do you still find hard to talk about? Deep
- What fear has held you back the most, and have you ever pushed through it? Deep
- What do you think you were meant to do with your life? Deep
- Who do you most want to make proud, and why them? Deep
- What is something you have forgiven that took you a long time? Deep
- What did love look like in the home you grew up in? Deep
- What is a quality you admire in others but struggle to find in yourself? Deep
- Which version of yourself are you working toward becoming? Deep
- What moment made you feel most grown up for the first time? Deep
- What would you want me to know about you if we only had one more conversation? Deep
- What makes you feel genuinely safe with another person? Deep
- What does a meaningful life look like to you right now? Deep
How to use these
- Ask a follow-up before moving on, like what happened next or how did that feel.
- Share your own answer too, so it feels like a conversation instead of an interview.
- Start with light questions on a first or second date and save the deep ones for when trust is there.
- If a question touches something painful, let your partner choose how much to say.
Related questions
- New relationship questions46 questionsCurious, low-pressure questions for the first months.
- Deep questions48 questionsValues, memories and the things you rarely say out loud.
- This or that questions48 questionsRapid-fire pairs for quick, revealing answers.
- Love questions47 questionsRomantic questions about how you fell and why you stay.
Questions people ask
Are getting to know you questions only for new couples?
No. People change, and long-term partners often discover new stories and opinions they never thought to ask about. Many of these work just as well after ten years as after ten dates.
What if my partner does not want to answer a question?
Let them pass without pressure. Some topics need more trust or a better moment, and respecting that makes it more likely they will share later.
How do we keep it from feeling like a job interview?
Alternate who answers, share your own stories, and stay on a question as long as it is interesting rather than racing through the list.