48 This or That Questions for Couples
This or that is the fastest way to learn your partner's preferences. Each question is two options and a split-second choice, which keeps the energy up and the overthinking down.
Press Next to draw the first question.
The light ones are perfect for a car ride or waiting in line. The deeper pairs touch on how you each want to handle money, conflict, family and time, so you may find yourselves stopping to talk about the why.
All 48 this or that questions
18 light · 16 medium · 14 deep
- Sunrise walk or sunset drive? Light
- Pancakes or waffles on a lazy morning? Light
- Big spoon or little spoon? Light
- Window seat or aisle seat? Light
- Movie theater or couch with a blanket? Light
- Board game night or trivia night at a bar? Light
- Cabin in the woods or bungalow on the beach? Light
- Tacos or noodles for a last-minute dinner? Light
- Matching outfits or coordinated colors? Light
- Farmers market or flea market? Light
- Bubble bath or hot shower? Light
- Road trip snacks: salty or sweet? Light
- Thrift store treasure hunt or fancy window shopping? Light
- Silly selfies or candid photos? Light
- Hiking trail or city stroll? Light
- Homemade pizza or delivery pizza? Light
- Dancing at a wedding or people-watching at a wedding? Light
- Christmas lights up early or right on time? Light
- Texting all day or one long call at night? Medium
- Planning the date or being surprised by the date? Medium
- Celebrating birthdays big or keeping them cozy? Medium
- Holidays with your family or holidays with mine? Medium
- Saying sorry right away or cooling off first? Medium
- Shared calendar or reminding each other out loud? Medium
- One big vacation a year or lots of small weekend trips? Medium
- Gifts you can unwrap or experiences you can remember? Medium
- Morning routine together or mornings on our own? Medium
- Cooking together or one cooks and the other cleans? Medium
- Posting about us online or keeping us mostly private? Medium
- Love notes or love songs? Medium
- Talking through a problem at night or sleeping on it? Medium
- Weekends fully booked or weekends wide open? Medium
- Friends over at our place or meeting friends out? Medium
- Grand romantic gesture or small daily kindness? Medium
- Comfort or adventure as the main feeling of our relationship? Deep
- Being right or being close, in the middle of an argument? Deep
- A home in the city or a home with land and quiet? Deep
- Saving for the future or spending on memories now? Deep
- Hearing I love you or seeing it in what I do? Deep
- Deep roots in one place or a life of moving around? Deep
- Honesty that stings or kindness that softens the truth? Deep
- Lots of independence or lots of togetherness? Deep
- Career ambition or more free time together? Deep
- Talking about feelings as they happen or once you have sorted them out? Deep
- A small circle of close friends or a big community? Deep
- Celebrating milestones or celebrating ordinary days? Deep
- Being taken care of or taking care of someone? Deep
- Stability we build slowly or a big leap we take together? Deep
How to use these
- Go fast. The first instinct is the honest one, so try to answer within three seconds.
- Keep score of how many you match on, just for fun, and do not treat mismatches as a problem.
- Let each person pick one pair per round to slow down on and explain fully.
- Try answering for your partner instead of yourself, then let them correct you.
Related questions
- Would you rather questions48 questionsTwo options, one choice, and a reason why.
- Getting to know you questions47 questionsThe basics, the backstory and the small details.
- Fun questions49 questionsEasy, playful prompts for any night in.
- Road trip questions for couples47 questionsQuestions for long drives and slow date nights.
Questions people ask
What is the difference between this or that and would you rather?
This or that is quicker and simpler, usually just two short options. Would you rather questions describe a scenario and tend to take longer to answer.
Are these good for a new relationship?
Yes. The light pairs are low pressure and help you learn tastes and habits early. Save the deeper pairs until you are comfortable talking about the future.
Is it a bad sign if we disagree on most of them?
Not at all. Plenty of couples love different foods, trips and weekend plans. Differences in the deeper pairs are worth talking through, but they are a starting point, not a verdict.